Listening With the Heart

“But Mom, how did you know that’s what I was going to say?”  “I was just about to call you!”  “Were your ears ringing?”  “That is exactly what I need right now.”  “I was just thinking about you.”  (just last night:)  “My neighbor just asked about you 30 – no, 20 – seconds ago and you called!”  We’ve all had these moments, when we are in each other’s heads, sometimes despite long distances.

The other day, I realized a connection between these experiences and a story. One day, Bhaskar was preparing for an interview (his first) in English (definitely a first!).  Bhaskar was a little overwhelmed as his English – learned among the Manav Sadhna volunteers – remains, some would say, basic.  To ease his concerns, I reminded him that he and I speak English constantly, face-to-face, over the phone, on a motorcycle and over the commotion of a kitchen preparing dinner for 60 guests.  And we always understand each other.  So, what was the big deal of having this interview in English when we speak English all the time?  Bhaskar replied:  “Mira, the difference is that you listen with your heart.”

He had a point.  I do listen with love and affection.  I invest my entire person into the conversation.  I hear the words, the intonation of the voice, the emotions, the pauses and the urgencies, the hesitation and the reflections.  I feel them in my core and in my heart.  There is much communicated in what is said; there is also much communicated in what is not said.

Comprehension can go quite far beyond words.  Traveling through Kutch a while back, where all was in Gujarati, I couldn’t understand the dialogues or the stories.  Yet, I could feel the energy, the love, the intention.  Words were not needed to communicate what the heart was beaming.  One memorable afternoon at ESI, I was moved to tears.  I could not tell you what was said, but I can tell you what was shared.

This “technique” can be used in all sorts of relationships.  Just the other day, I witnessed a conversation between two roommates that went something like “Oh, by the way…  Oh, really?…  Yeah, down the…  And the?… Yes. Did you? … Yes…  Great” before they turned back to what they were each doing.  Even when connecting with customers in the rural villages of India, listening with the heart opened an understanding to unexpressed aspirations and motivations.

What I find awesome is that this connection can be created with anyone and enable an understanding far beyond words and distance.  Its ripple effects go far…  Hum, that brings back memories…

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~ by me on February 7, 2011.